Sometimes the Best Man for the Job is a Woman
by blackeyedgurl
Summary: Helo’s getting married, and needs a best man. Kara has been his best friend for as long as he can remember, and now she needs to remember so she can toast him, and roast him there has to be a bachelor party right? Kara/Lee eventually, Helo backstory
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: Helo's getting married, and needs a best man. Kara has been his best friend for as long as he can remember, and now she needs to remember so she can toast him, and roast him (there has to be a bachelor party right?)**

**Time Frame: Late Season 2, New Caprica is colonized but it is not yet Cylon occupied. This falls during the missing 18 months.**

**Rating: PG-13 for language, if a chapter is higher rated it'll be noted at the beginning.**

**Ships: Kara/Lee (tension, angst, snark) Athena/Helo(love) Kara/Sam(problems) Lee/Dee(problems)**

**Idea: I was always curious about Kara and Helo's relationship. They seem to be really close, but we never get any explanation. This story is nothing but exposition on their relationship, and well an excuse to get everyone together (and for Kara and Lee to have some sparks fly). This is how I imagine them to be.**

**Disclaimer: I didn't create them, I just play with them.**

The ground to ship Comm Stations had been set up one per "neighborhood." What that meant was there was one station for every 200 tents. Actually getting on one of them to talk to someone in the sky involved special clearance, or that you were requested. Whoever manned the station had to go and hunt down whoever the call was for. This was not an easy task by any means, and was even tougher when you were looking for a needle in a haystack of roughly 50,000 needles. Marcus had somehow drawn this duty when he went planet side. New Caprica wasn't ideal, but it was better than the tillium ship he had been manning comms for before. When the call came through for the infamous Starbuck he was sort of excited, had he actually known her, he would have known this wasn't the best job.

Eventually he found her in a Pub Tent, Pub Tent 0194 to be exact. Since they had landed one of the immediate priorities of the settlers was to find something to distill into alcohol. One of the others was to pick every weed and grass and smoke it. Marcus didn't understand everyone's need to self medicate, but he had never been one for such things anyways.

"Captain Thrace." He said as he approached.

"The name's just Kara these days." She corrected him.

"You have a ship to ground call from Galactica." He said to her backside. She barely acknowledged his presence.

"From who?"

"Captain Karl Agathon."

There were only two names that would have gotten her off that bar stool. The other was Adama, but not the younger. She threw two spoons down on the makeshift bar, they still had no formal currency, it wasn't a priority of President Frak, better known as Baltar.

"Joe, I'll be back, you still owe me a shot, I paid for two." The barkeep nodded quietly at her. She had been spending a lot of time, and cutlery here lately. He was sure she was just spending her Triad winnings to get her through the day to the next Triad game.

The walk to the Comm Station was short. Marcus unlocked the hatch and started to go in.

"Man, I know how to work the comm in a raptor, you can wait out here."

"I'm not supposed to let anyone in there unchaperoned." Marcus stuttered out.

"Really? You addressed me as Captain before. Maybe you should keep that in mind. I'm not some civie ship idiot. If anyone asks, just tell them I beat you up. At least it's something they'll believe." She answered as she closed the hatch behind her.

It had been a long time since she had been in one of these. The last one in fact was the one that brought her, Sam, Ellen and Saul down for the groundbreaking ceremony. Funny thing is, while the lot of them stayed, nothing still had been built where that ground was broken.

"Comm Station Echo requesting link to Galactica Actual, over." She said after hitting switches and buttons by memory.

"Galactica Actual here, requesting identification." She knew the voice immediately.

"Felix get me Helo."

"Starbuck? Is that you? When did you pick up comm duty?"

"I didn't I was told Helo needed to talk to me."

"Where's the comm operator?"

"I killed him." She waited a beat, "He's outside, I wanted some privacy. Speaking of, I'd prefer a private line to the Captain. I don't need the whole damn ship listening in."

"I'll page him through to a secure line." After a moment he added, "It's good to hear your voice again, sir."

"I'm sir to nobody these days Gaeta. I hope you're taking good care of the old man up there."

"We are, I have Helo on the other line for you. I'll patch you through." The line buzzed for a moment before Karl picked up.

"Kara, long time no talk."

"Hey Karl. How's it looking up there?"

"A lot prettier than down there I hear."

"What? The sky here looks almost the same as the ceiling in the hangar deck!" She joked. Helo was grateful she was in a good mood, cos he was afraid he was about to ruin it.

"True. How's Sam?"

"Sick, he's got pneumonia and something else, but I can't drag his carcass back to the tent from the Pyramid courts. Even when he's too sick to play he sits around and coaches, or at least just yells."

"I thought he was getting better."

"He did, and then it came back. It's funny it seems like him and Seelix keep trading it back and forth. One gets better, the other gets sick" Kara had to stop herself from going into what was really going on with the two of them. Helo didn't need to hear about how her husband spent only one night in their tent in the last 2 weeks, and that's only cos Seelix was too sick to frak. "He'd stay better if he'd just spend a week in bed, and if Cottle would loosen up his death grip on the meds. How's your Sharon?"

"I'll see if I can get some of those meds for you. Sharon's good, still in the brig, but that's sort of why I called you."

She knew Helo so well she could hear the question in his voice before he got around to it. "Well, out with it, what do you need?"

"Well, we're getting married and I need a best man."


	2. Chapter 2

"You're killing me Helo. I mean, you've got to be joking." Kara laughed reflexively.

"No joke, come on Kara I need you."

"Where've I heard that one before?" She scoffed. "I mean isn't there someone better qualified for this job?"

"You're my oldest friend; I'd even dare to call you my best friend."

"But I'm not a man; it's called best man, not best friend."

"Kara, it's only one afternoon, and I promise it'll be painless. I won't be doing this ever again, so this is a one time mission."

"Like a suicide bomber?"

"More like a good friend. Hell, I wasn't even invited to your wedding."

"Don't you have any guy friends? What about Hot Dog? Or, I don't know, Chief?"

"It's you, or I'm not getting married, _ever._"

"Gee, Helo, no frakking pressure or anything." She took a moment to think about what he was asking. She was flattered as hell, although slightly uncomfortable with the idea. "Do I have to wear a dress?"

"That would be traditional civilian dress for a wedding, so I'm gonna say yes." She could imagine the tilt of his head when he said yes. It surprised her how fast time had gone by, she hadn't seen Helo in months, and she missed him.

"Where do you think I'm going to find a dress down here? Honestly, my clothes haven't been washed in at least 2 weeks, my body in days, and you expect me to find a dress?"

"You never were one for personal hygiene." He laughed. "Ellen found one for Sharon down there, I'm sure she could come up with something for you."

"Great, cos whore is so the look I would be going for." She laughed at the idea of what Ellen Tigh would find to be an appropriate dress for a wedding.

"Stop being so frakking dramatic, and suck it up Starbuck."

"Whatever, I'll be there, you can count on me. So when is this shindig?"

"Tomorrow, 15:00 hours."

"No, no, no, no, that's not fair. That's not even 24 hours!" It was one thing for her to agree to this with some time to plan, it was wholly another to have it sprung on her.

"Kara, it's the only time I can get leave for Sharon. I've got custody of her for 24 hours, and nothing can go wrong. I had to pull all my strings to get her that. Her pass starts tomorrow at noon."

"Nice, thanks for the notice."

"You could come up tonight, get a hot shower, sleep in a lumpy bunk, and eat the same old crappy food." He was tempting her, using Helo's persuasive voice. He knew she could rarely resist him like this.

"You have no idea how nice that sounds. Down here might not be hell, but you can definitely see it from here."

"When do you want me to send down transport?"

"How about an hour? I gotta talk to Sam, and see a lady about a dress."

"I can do that."

"See you soon asshole. I can't believe you've talked me into this."

"Thanks Kara," Helo spoke sarcasm fluently, "You know this means a lot to me right?"

"I know, I'm just regretting not making you a bridesmaid in my wedding."

"You would have had to plan ahead then." He laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, see you later. Over and out."

"Over and out."

Kara shut down the line and sat back in the chair. What had she just gotten herself into? She turned the station over to Marcus and headed back to her tent. It was a long shot, but maybe Sam was there. She needed to grab a few things anyways. He wasn't there, but her pack was, she threw in a clean change of underwear, her toiletries and anything else she thought she might need.

On her way to the school she saw him, on the pyramid court, "tutoring" Seelix, when he wasn't coughing his guts out.

"Sam!" She yelled across the court at him. "Sam!" He finally turned around; as he did the smile fell off his face. He walked over to her though.

"What do you need Kara?" He acted like he had something more important to do. She remembered just a few months ago when there was nothing more important to him than her.

"I've got to go up to Galactica for a few days. Think you can handle yourself down here for a while?"

"You're not my caretaker."

"Clearly. I'm going to try to get you more meds from Cottle while I'm up there."

"Great."

"You really should be in bed you know. You aren't ever going to get any better like this." She reached out and touched his forehead; it was slick with cold sweat. "You're soaking wet, its cold and this is only going to make you worse, and you know it."

"I'm fine Kara, since when do you care anyways? Isn't there a triad game out there somewhere?"

"Suit yourself, just keep it up if you've got a death wish, hell, if you want to die so bad I am sure I can find you a gun."

"Thanks Kara, that'd be the most you've given me in months."

"Frak off." She turned and left him. Sadly it was the most civilized conversation they had had in weeks.

The school was a few tents down. It was the only thing that actually functioned down here. Somehow Roslin had pulled together enough supplies to get it off the ground. When she walked in, she saw Roslin at a make-shift table, drawing with some children, she seemed in her element. Kids just made Kara uncomfortable. Tory approached her silently.

"I can get her if you need her." She said.

"Actually I was looking for you." Kara responded as she turned to face her.

"What can I do for you?" Tory seemed uncomfortable with the idea that Kara needed something from her.

"I need a dress. There's a thing I have to go to on Galactica tomorrow, and I need a dress. I have no idea where to get one."

"Ellen has a pretty good stockpile. I don't know how she did it. I think she's trading for them, but she's the one you need to see."

"I am really trying to avoid her." The Tigh's tent was the last place she wanted to end up. She had been avoiding Saul since the morning she got married.

"Well, I think I've got something that might work, I'll run back to my tent."

Kara had always appreciated how succinct Tory was. Even as the assistant to the president she was a no bullshit kind of woman. There was no pussyfooting around, either it was done immediately or it was not done at all.

While she waited she thought about the next two days. If she was lucky she could drag it out that long. Turning in her wings and settling down here was one of the worst plans she ever had. The absolute worst idea was marrying Samuel T. Anders. Hindsight is always 20-20.

Tory returned quickly with a garment bag. The bag was beaten up and dirty, but she could still see the logo of one of the top department stores on Caprica. It made her wonder what kind of job Tory had before the end of the worlds. Kara would have had to sack away 2 months wages as a pilot to afford even the cheapest dress there.

Tory laid the bag on a table and opened it up. She pulled the dress out so Kara could hold it up to her.

"I think that'll work nicely." Tory said. "The shoes are in the bottom of the bag. I wear a size 35, I don't know if they'll fit you, but they were made for the dress."

Kara was speechless, the dress was stunning. "Tory, gods, this is beautiful."

"It makes your eyes look amazing, even in this light."

"The shoes should fit too." Kara felt a little like Tory was her fairy godmother, if she had to dress up this would at least make it worthwhile. If her blue dress made her look like a knock out this one would make a glance kill a man. "I'll bring it back in one piece. I promise."

"It's not like I have any reason to wear it anymore. I bought it for the Colonial Day celebration on the day of the attacks. I never got a chance to wear it. Once the Cloud Nine blew up I figured it would just become a relic of a by-gone era. At least someone will get some wear out of it."

If Kara were the kind of person who did that sort of thing she would have hugged Tory. Instead she shook her hand, thanked her again and apologized because she had a transport to board.

She got to the launch pad just as the raptor came down. It was a not a standard transport, so she was alone on board. It was good to see the faces of Racetrack and Skulls. It was even better to be getting up into the air, she missed flying. She missed not being tied to the ground.

**A/N: I bet you wonder what that dress looks like! You'll find out soon enough, through someone else's eyes. I promise the next chapter gets into the Kara/Helo backstory, and a handsome young Commander will show up shortly. You know what really makes me write? REVIEWS!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I know the reviews system has been all frakked up this weekend. Once I got the first 2 chappies up I got locked out and couldn't get anything else up. I hope those of you who are reading this are enjoying it. This chapter we are getting into the nuts and bolts of Helo and Kara. I promise there will be more of that and some Lee/Kara action, but not just yet. Italics are Kara dreaming or daydreaming, just so you know.**

Once she boarded the raptor they still had to wait about a half an hour. Skulls needed to run into the tent city to grab a few things. Kara figured he was planning some sort of bachelor party for Helo, his fellow ECO. It wasn't a comfortable place, but somehow just being in a ship felt more like home than that stupid tent ever would. She had only been on board a few minutes when she started daydreaming. Helo deserved a speech, a good speech for her toast. They had been friends for so long that she actually needed to reflect to come up with ideas.

_Summers on Gemenon on the military base were boring central for a kid. Kara was 9 years old, her mother's unit had been based on Gemenon for about 6 months. Even though she was a military brat she had a tough time making friends. Her personality didn't ingratiate her with the girls, and the boys all thought she had cooties. _

_She was alone on the playground, bouncing the ball and scooping jacks up. She thought it was a stupid tedious task, but knew that the hand-eye coordination would be important for her future Pyramid career. Her goal was to play forward for the Caprica Buccaneers, but she'd settle any position, especially if it was a scoring position._

_Her mother insisted on dressing her in dresses and other assorted girly clothes. This was not exactly conducive to her tom boy lifestyle. All she knew was that whenever she came home filthy from playing her mother would hit her. Her mother hit her when she mouthed off, she hit her when she didn't clean her plate, when she didn't turn out the lights promptly at 20:00 hours, and she hit her sometimes when Kara did nothing. Always it was followed with "Someday you'll appreciate this. Someday you'll have to endure much worse, because you have it coming. Suffering is good for the soul, without it you'll never be strong enough" She suspected the black eyes and broken bones also kept the other children from her. The cover story was always the same, Kara was a clumsy child. How anyone could see her as a clumsy child she didn't know, she was agile as a cat in gym class and on the playground. No one believed her when she would tell them that her mother had done it, Socrata Thrace was well respected, even if she was a drunk. _

_Kara's father was rarely around. She saw him twice a year. He was generally on tour, or recording, or something other than being near her. But when he did come back he always brought her presents, much to her mother's chagrin. She loved her daddy, and always made sure that when they moved that they moved his upright piano with them. Socrata tolerated the behavior, but constantly threatened to take an axe to the stupid thing when Kara really misbehaved._

_This day was just as boring and hot as any other. She didn't have much to do back at their quarters all of her chores were done well before noon, so she mostly spent her time on the playground. She was either playing there or in her fort in the small thicket of woods across from the military personnel housing. Her mother was on duty and didn't believe in day care or babysitters. If Kara was old enough to heat up lunch and get a glass of water she was old enough to be alone. And so she was, always, until a new face approached her._

_He was probably the same age as her, but big for his size, brown haired, tan, chubby, but with a caring eye. Her father called people like him "wise in the eye, an old soul." She just figured he was lost. There was no other reason why anyone would be heading her way otherwise. He walked up with a bizarre sense of purpose and sat down with her._

"_Hi, I'm Karl." He stuck out a hand at her to shake, and she did. He radiated a strange sense of confidence, like he knew they would be friends._

"_I'm Kara." She replied and went back to turning the jacks over in her hand._

"_I'm new around here. My dad just transferred into the Red unit here on base."_

"_My mom's an MP with that unit."_

"_Cool." For some reason he wasn't uncomfortable around her. The school year was out so the other kids wouldn't have had time to get to him. "You wanna come over to my house and have lunch? My mom made sandwiches."_

"_I'm not supposed to go to stranger's houses." If her mother found out she had there might be a broken rib in her future._

"_But I'm not a stranger, I'm Karl." He said with a smile. She trusted him, she didn't know why, but she trusted him. He stood up and offered her a hand. She took it and he noticed the bruises up and down her arms. She moved the sleeves down on her cardigan to cover them back up. She put the ball and jacks in the pocket of the sweater._

"_I'm clumsy; at least that's what they say."_

"_They look like handprints, how does that make you clumsy? Did someone grab you while you were falling down?"_

"_Yeah, something like that." It was a conversation she decided to avoid, no reason to scare off someone who obviously was giving her a shot._

"_Okay, if we run we can make it back to see tip off in the Pyramid game! I'll race you! First one to my house gets a Picon Berry flavored lollipop! "_

_Kara was competitive, which was another reason why she was sure no one wanted to be her friend. Either that or she really did have cooties. This chubby boy was no competition, but she'd happily take his bet, and the sweet spoils of victory._

_She did win that lollipop, and Karl's mother made her sandwiches the rest of summer . Mrs Agathon pitied the Thrace girl. Her mother was a notoriously stern MP, but surprisingly popular, even with her own husband Marine Corporal Agathon. She was though, no mother. Her child was left to run feral all summer. Karl had few friends at the base on Picon, so she was glad that he had found a friend, even if the girl was odd and always carrying a new injury. They shared a love and goal of playing professional pyramid and spent hours practicing in a makeshift basement court; but they were always begging her to take them to the airfield to watch the vipers and raptors train. She suspected that one day the two of them would take to the sky; she also suspected that they would end up married. She was only right on one account. Mrs Agathon would one day tell her this, the day they graduated from flight school._

"Captain Thrace, we have to stop at the Pegasus to pick an additional crew member. We should arrive on Galactica in about an hour. Welcome back to the sky." Racetrack announced as Skulls started up preflight. Kara was startled back into reality.

"It's just Kara now, but thanks Racetrack, I mean Margaret."

"You'll always be Starbuck to us, sir." She said with a smile as she turned around to buckle back in. "Oh, the Admiral wants to see you when we get to Galactica, but we'll show you to your visitors quarters first."

"Thanks, it'll be nice to see the old bird, and the old man." As they lifted off the ground Kara felt the momentary flitter in her belly that she had often felt in her own viper. Those first few moments airborne were exciting and terrifying. Human beings weren't meant to fly, which was why she suspected that she always felt that way. She put her head back against the wall and ran her hand up the carriage. It felt good to be going home, even if it wasn't her home anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Thank you for all the encouraging words!!! I really appreciate it more than you know! I write for people to read, if people don't want to or don't like reading what I write, then there is no reason to do it! I am thankful that FINALLY the login glitch is fixed so we can all read and review and upload at will! (Just a note, I know crap about the military, I am trying to figure out rank and stuff with the Wikipedia, so if I do something highly improbable/impossible I apologize) Now, onto the story…**

The trip to Pegasus was just under an hour long. Once back in the cradling arms of space she could allow her thoughts to wander. She knew it would be expected that she give some sort of speech. Reflecting on the past was something she didn't do often. It raked up too many feelings, too much emotion; nostalgia is what got you into bad situations. At least that's what she told herself regarding the nostalgia she had placed on her and Ander's brief rendezvous on Caprica. That nostalgia is what got her stuck in a shitty marriage to a man she realized she barely knew. Trapped in a marriage with a man who never loved her, but who had loved an idea of her. It had seemed so easy, but things were never as easy as they seemed.

Her and Helo had spent a lot of their younger lives together. It was a life that felt so far away. They had grown up together, and she knew she wouldn't be where she was today without him. He probably would have been fine without her, but without him she'd probably be dead by now.

_When Colonel Agathon was transferred to Colonial Fleet Headquarters on Tauron to manage the Marines, he made sure Socrata Thrace was as well. She was promoted to Sergeant Major under the Colonel and she and Kara followed them there. Kara was 14 by then. The move from Gemenon was exciting, although she had to leave the piano behind. It didn't matter she hadn't seen her father in 4 years, and since her fingers had been broken it was too hard for her to play anyways._

_By this time Kara was grown enough that Socrata couldn't do much by physical abuse to her anymore. She was no longer forced to wear dresses, that had stopped 2 years earlier when a report was sent home about Kara lifting her dress to the boys in the school yard. From that day on she had no particular Socrata Thrace enforced dress code. But she had sworn that the only way anyone was getting her in a dress was for something damn important or formal._

_Socrata's verbal abuse was in overload. Nary had a day gone by where she didn't tear Kara down for something. Kara had learned by then to take the pain and the hurt and all of those kinds of emotions and bottle them up and put them out of her mind. If she didn't, she wouldn't be able to function as a human being. She wasn't one of those old robots her mother had fought in the war. She was a person with feelings, and her mother seemed hell bent on destroying them. _

_Occasionally Socrata would come at her with a weapon. Most often it was the empty bottle of whatever was the flavor of the night. Once she went after her with a knife, but Kara kept her at bay long enough for the booze to take effect and knock the woman out. If she fell asleep on the couch, she was usually woken up by her mother putting a cigarette out on her arm or any visible flesh. She had also beat Kara while she slept, screaming the entire time that she should be ready for anything at anytime. Belts were the weapon of choice for this, since she could be far enough away that when Kara jumped out of bed she could quickly close the door to avoid the back lash. Kara had started to fight back, which only enraged her mother even more._

_The Agathon's had a soft spot for Kara. They even went so far as to give her a key to the house, so that when Socrata was on a bad bender she could flee to their house. Socrata knew where she went, but never went after her. She had too much respect for the ranks, and her abuse never left the confines of her home. Kara had an odd sense of family with them, even though she wasn't one of them. She did always feel safe with them, and in a way loved. Love was something she had never felt from her mother, only from her father, and he was gone. _

_As children of Marines Kara and Karl got to attend the Military High School. As the kids of "jarheads" they were automatically low on the totem pole. The Fleet kids weren't mean, there was just an observed hierarchy and it was abundantly clear where Marine kids stood, even if your dad was a Colonel. They went through freshman year as they always had, being avoided by others, hanging out all the time, playing an excessive amount of pyramid ball and watching flight training._

_The summer before sophomore year Karl shot up to over 6 feet tall. All that baby-fat he had been carrying melted into muscle and he was completely transformed. Kara had stopped growing in the 8__th__ grade, which was fine by her, although she had wished she was a bit taller for an advantage on the Pyramid court. Kara noticed that the girls at school would eye him up, gossiping about the Colonel's hottie son. They never approached him. Kara had never really looked at Karl as good looking before, but she could see what they saw. He had grown into quite the man. From day one Karl and Kara had projected an odd sense of togetherness. No one dared encroach upon their world. While he had been her first kiss 2 years prior, they had never considered themselves to be formally dating. But as you age it becomes a natural assumption by outsiders. Kara was fine with that; she had little interest in guys outside of Karl anyways._

_When they tried out for the Pyramid team not only were they the only Marine kids who made the team, they were the only sophomores to make the varsity team in school history. When this happened, they broke the Fleet-Marine barrier somehow, and were welcomed into the secret Fleet club. They did make a few friends on the team, but for the most part were still Kara and Karl._

_Part of hanging with the Fleet kids was parties. Nearly every weekend someone's parents were off on a Battlestar somewhere (either the Sagittaron docks, or in orbit), and thus there was an empty house just waiting for some teenagers to frak it up. As a kid Kara had always swore she wouldn't drink, as she saw what it did to her mother. Once she had even dumped out all the booze in the house while her mother was at work, three of her toes ended up broken for that indiscretion. But now, as a teenager, she found herself playing strip triad, and drinking games, smoking cigars and flirting with boys who weren't Karl (she honestly hadn't even realized she could flirt before then). Granted Karl was doing the same things, so it's not like there was judgment. They messed around with other people, and for once in their lives, somehow the two of them, the chubby boy and the broken girl, were popular in their own way._

_Junior year they did attend the Colonial Day dance together. The captain of the Pyramid team had a family cabin (resort was more like it, frakking rich kids), the whole team, and their dates, there were only 4 girls on the team and two of them were dating each other, went there after the dance to party. Kara wore a strapless black dress; it was short and tight and drove her mother nuts, it also made Karl's jaw drop when she came down the stairs to meet him. After the dance, and half a bottle of Leonis Sparkling Wine each, they lost their virginity to each other. It was a disaster, but as far as disasters go it was pretty good. Because they had been so close and had done pretty much everything else with each other it wasn't awkward afterwards. They were best friends, and now they were some sort of lovers._

_After a while Kara started to really rebel against Socrata's rule. As a child she had placed rubber ants in her mother's closet, only to end up with every finger in her hands slammed and subsequently broken slammed in a door. She dyed her fair hair black; Socrata took away her driver's license. She got "bona fiscalia" (public property) tattooed on her forearm; Socrata took away her wireless, her TV and computer. The more she rebelled the more Socrata took away. There was always one thing she couldn't take away: Helo._

"Pegasus, this is Raptor 1, requesting clearance to land." Skulls announced over the wireless. Kara must have spaced out, because the announcement startled her.

"Raptor one you are clear for landing in Bay 3. We will let the Commander know you have arrived."

Kara could see out of the carriage of the Raptor that they were approaching the Battlestar Pegasus. She had a momentary moment of awe. When you see Battlestars every day, all day, you sort of lose sight of the scope of them. They are massive. Like tiny planet massive. The Pegasus even more so than Galactica. Hell, the Raptor she was in was around as big as her apartment back in Delphi. It wasn't just big, it was a chasm. She missed how tiny a person could feel on board something like this. She missed how she could just feel tiny and insignificant, and like she could disappear.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Wow! The reception of this story is awesome! You guys are so nice to me!!! Thank you for all the reviews! I got a little sidetracked this weekend (there is a new short piece under The Dilate Diaries) after Friday's episode. Wow talk about a killer. I can't even believe what is going on! I won't spoil it for my non-US readers, but it's amazing, seriously. Part of the reason this story is slow to write is that I am constantly referring to the battlestarwiki to make sure my cannon is correct. Now I do know that due to the second season deleted scenes Kara and Helo might not have been as close as we all hoped, but I have a way around that. I'm a stickler for canon, thus it takes a while to develop a new chapter. Hopefully they will come faster as this goes! Again, your reviews are why I write, so please keep them coming! Thanks! :)**

The raptor landed without incident and was brought to Pegasus' flight deck. Kara figured they were transferring some paperwork and maybe picking up some crew members who were needed on Galactica. Instead, once the door opened she heard something she didn't want to hear.

"Commander on deck!" The Pegasus' crew chief announced and all work ceased for a moment to salute Lee. Some things change, but the strict adherence to protocol was apparently Caine's legacy and would not.

"Racetrack, is he our additional cargo?" Kara asked quietly.

"Yes sir, he is."

"Do me a favor, I'm gonna pretend to be sleeping, you just tell him I've been asleep since we left New Caprica." She was a heavy enough sleeper when tired enough and Lee knew that, he wouldn't question it.

"Okay." Racetrack sounded unsure.

"I don't want to deal with him, this'll result in a much quieter ride back to Galactica, trust me." She knew she wasn't wrong.

"Hear that Skulls? Captain Thrace has been asleep since New Caprica." Racetrack directed at her ECO.

"Sure, whatever you say." Skulls replied.

Kara leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes. This was just easier than dealing with so many things. They hadn't seen each other since that morning she got married. She had thought about calling him more than once on the comm. but she just couldn't bring herself to do it. He hated her and she knew she deserved it. He had done everything right and she rewarded him with heartbreak. It was better this way.

She could hear his feet on the decking, she could feel the weight shift when he boarded the raptor, she could smell him.

"Dee, its fine, you are in command of the ship. If you need me that badly you can get me on the wireless." She could hear the annoyance in his voice; he appeared much more patient than he actually was. She ignored Dee's reply, it wasn't important to her. She did hear Lee say to her quietly, "Dammit Dee, you're the XO, just go and do your frakking job would you? Do you have to make a scene over everything? Fraking hell." She fought the smile.

"Racetrack, Skulls, it's nice to see some familiar faces." Kara could hear the smile in his voice.

"Commander." Both Racetrack and Skulls replied in sync with a nod and a slight salute. "Sorry we were delayed, Major Agathon had us stop planet side to deliver some documents, pick up some supplies, and, her." Skulls pointed to Kara. Lee had stepped right past her and didn't even see her.

"Did she pass out? Was she drunk again?" He asked pointedly. If she weren't pretending to sleep she would have hit him.

"No sir, she was exhausted. They don't sleep well down there. It's cold and those tents don't offer frak all for real cover." Racetrack replied. Kara owed her a drink.

"Oh, of course." He had an apologetic sound to his voice. Kara could feel his eyes on her. She could always feel it when he was looking at her. Even out in the black in her viper she could feel when he had his sights on her. She heard his drop a bag and him take a seat, buckling in.

Skulls called in the request to depart, and was approved. Kara almost jumped out of her skin when Lee reached over and brushed her overgrown bangs out of her face. He probably wanted to see how life on New Caprica was treating her. Her face probably showed more than she wanted it to, even in her "sleep" state.

She had to let her thoughts drift. She had to think about something else. So she put her mind back n task. She was here for Helo not Lee, and no matter what her heart and head felt being this close to him, she was there for a reason, a personal mission.

_Senior year both her and Karl both received scholarships to play pyramid at the Fleet Academy. Socrata thought that the viper and raptor jocks were a bunch of undisciplined children. She hated pilots, but was just glad that her daughter would be following the military track career she had wanted for her. The girl needed structure, structure some stupid ball game couldn't offer her._

_Karl's family threw him a party the day of graduation, Socrata just threw her out. Apparently she figured she had finished her job. Kara went to the party, but didn't tell Karl until the other guests had left. They had 2 months before they were to report to the Fleet Academy on Caprica, and she was homeless. The Agathon's opened their home up to her, she felt guilty because she couldn't offer them anything in return. _

_Socrata had never had an outward like or hate of Karl. This was good cos if she were neutral towards him, she wouldn't start anything when he showed up with Kara to get her things. Kara had always imagined packing up to go off to college to be an awesome moment. Instead it was her throwing anything that meant anything to her into bags and boxes and passing it out to Karl. He kept Socrata at bay, even though the woman did throw an empty gin bottle at his head. It was official that day: Karl was the only family she really had._

_When she graduated, she sent a letter to Dreilide Thrace, her father. She was seeing if she could come and live with him. She wanted him to be proud of her, to know she had made it despite her mother. She wanted him to know that while she could use his help, she didn't need him. The letter was returned to her 2 weeks later as undeliverable. Karl and she searched every resource they could to find him and it was as if he had evaporated. His last recording was from the last year she had seen him. She figured he had died and no one told her, her damn mother probably knew it too. Helo told her that if someone wanted to hide enough it was possible. _

_She and Karl spent the summer working on the base doing crap jobs. As fleet recruits they could get clearance to work as intro level knuckle draggers in the hangars. This meant picking up dirty shop rags and emptying garbage cans, but it got them close to the planes. They only worked in the scrap department, so they got to watch as retired Mark II viper after Mark II Viper was retired. All the useable parts were stripped off of them, and the rest was sent to the Viper graveyard on Sagittaron._

_Their favorite part of it was reading the names of the pilots who had flown them. Some of their favorites were: Saul "Gunner" Tigh, Rayna "Butterfingers" Bartha, William "Husker" Adama, and the funniest to both of them was Martin "Hot Dog" Mankowitz. Kara swore if she was ever a CAG or a flight instructor she'd have a nugget named Hot Dog. Karl didn't doubt it._

_At the end of summer they reported to the Fleet Academy. Kara hadn't been to Caprica since she was a child. She had been born there, but didn't remember being there. They moved when she was 2 or 3 because her mother was reassigned out of the Transfer Station, and her mother wanted her father to quit playing piano. She wanted him to get a real job, he never did. Caprica really was the shining light of the colonies. It was beautiful, it was clean, and it had buildings that seemed to touch the sky itself. Karl was better travelled than her thanks to family trips and his father's ceremonial responsibilities, but it still shocked him that he got to call this place home._

_Their first semester went by quickly, and they were both important members of the pyramid team. Buccaneer and Panther scouts had already come to some of their games. Kara nailed her viper pilot exam, as did Karl, except he was 5 points behind her. She was top of the list._

_They went home for winter break. A few weeks before Kara had received a letter from Socrata. The woman claimed she had entered a rehabilitation program and was sober, and sorry. She invited Kara to come and stay with her over her break. Kara reluctantly accepted. Karl's family was on notice and told her that her room would be available if she needed it._

_For the first time in her life her mother greeted her with a hug at the transfer station. Kara didn't know what to do with the affection from her so she lightly hugged her back. When she wasn't hammered her mother was actually a pretty woman. Kara could actually see where some of her own features had come from. She had always figured she got her looks from her father, but her mother's alcohol bloated face had hidden much of her features._

_Things actually went well unexpectedly. They had dinner and Socrata showed her around the base. They even laughed while watching an old movie one night. Kara didn't really know what to make of any of this, but she had seen enough to let her guard down. _

_Things seemed to be going well over break, until they weren't. Kara told her mother about being the top viper pilot candidate. It almost seemed to please the woman. When Kara mentioned the pyramid scouts though the woman lost it. Kara hadn't seen it coming, her mother had been so normal, and suddenly she was flying off the handle. She wasn't drunk, not one drop had gone into her, but she went after Kara with a fury she had usually reserved for her most intoxicated moments. Kara only had a few seconds to readjust to her behavior, she was rusty, she stumbled getting out of the chair trying to make it to the door. It was enough time for Socrata to grab her by the hair and get an arm under her arm pit. The woman was screaming about how she hadn't done all of this for Kara to end up some stupid pyramid ball player. Kara was supposed to be more than that, she had a destiny, she was born to fly. Kara was trying to wrench herself out of the grip her mother had on her, when she got to the door. She was almost out when Socrata suddenly let go. Kara's body had too much forward momentum and inertia took a hold of her body. When her knee slammed into the iron bars of the railing she heard a sickening pop, her hand couldn't hold on and she tumbled down the flight of stairs. _

_Karl had answered the phone when Socrata called the house. All she said was "I've done my job, she's your problem now." and hung up. He knew what that woman was capable of and rushed to the apartment complex he had dropped Kara and Socrata at not 4 days before. Lying at the bottom of the stairs was Kara. She was unconscious, bloody, and one of her legs was clearly bent the wrong way. A bloody clump of hair hung down on her neck, she was already starting to turn black and blue. She had laid there long enough for the blood to dry on her face. Her mother had thrown her bag down the stairs after her daughter. It took all of Karl's will not to run up that flight of stairs and break that woman's neck. He had already learned hand to hand combat techniques and he wasn't afraid to use them, not on a piece of trash like Socrata Thrace. He was scared to, but he reached down and felt her neck, she still had a pulse. _

_He knew it wasn't the best idea but he dialed emergency services to come and get her. He wouldn't tell them the truth, he'd say she tripped and fell, that he found he because he was supposed to pick her up for the weekend. People around the base would believe that, they were supposed to be sweethearts after all. He didn't like keeping Socrata's dirty little secret, but he also knew no one would believe it. They'd figure that he had fought with her and thrown her down the stairs. He might cover it up but he wouldn't take responsibility for Socrata's bad behavior. Kara looked so broken, he almost didn't recognize her. He didn't want to move her and cause more damage. For all he knew her back was broken, and he didn't want to be the one responsible for putting Kara Thrace into a wheelchair. It would be the end of him, and he knew it._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: It's 5:30 in the morning, I drank WAY too much coffee, so I am up and writing. Hopefully this doesn't come out as rambling babble. I am so happy that you guys are enjoying this story. I know the Kara's abuse stuff has been pretty heavy thus far, but from here on out that stuff is done (well, at least the abuse by her mother). Reviews tell me to keep up the good work. They also do wonders for my self esteem.**

"Kara, wake up." She felt Lee's hand gently shake her shoulder. At some point she must have fallen asleep. She batted his hand away. "Seriously Kara, you need to get out of the raptor, Chief needs to do the post flight check off with Racetrack and they can't do it with you asleep in here."

"Fine." She grumbled. It was the first time she had properly laid eyes on him since he got on board. He looked softer around the edges now that she saw him up close. Apparently every pound she had lost on that gods forsaken planet had ended up on him. He wasn't fat, but she could see that his angles weren't as hard. She rubbed her eyes, the Galactica's hangar deck lighting was only half on, and it was still brighter than most days on New Caprica.

"Come on." Lee tried to grab her arm to help her up but she roughly pulled away from him, looked up and gave him a glare. "Fine, get yourself out of here." It was a tone he hadn't used with her since she was his bratty assed pilot. He put his hands up in defense, turned and got off the raptor. She felt the ship lift when he did. He must have fled the hangar immediately.

She looked out the door and could see Helo waiting for her. His arms were crossed over his chest and he had his usual shit eating grin on. It was a look that was so familiar and still somehow unbelievably comforting. It had been a long time since she had seen that look, had seen him at all.

"Come on Thrace, get down here." Helo called to her. She got up reluctantly, and forgot all about regaining her sky legs. She had to grab onto the frame of the door to steady herself. The pressure on the deck was making her ears pop and causing her slight vertigo. She wrenched her jaw twice to pop them and felt better. He walked up and offered her an arm, "Okay, maybe don't try to get down here too fast." He chuckled.

She looked down for her bag, and it was absent. "Where's my stuff?" She asked with a slight bit of panic. She was not going to lose that dress.

"Commander Adama had it ported to your room." Racetrack answered, looking awfully irritated that Kara was holding up her check out. She remembered how it was, that suit was a sweat factory, and when you were off flight duty all you wanted was a shower and some dry clothes.

"Oh, okay." Kara was still slightly dazed, but found her way out of the raptor. It was strange to be back on this deck. These metal walls held so many memories, some bad, mostly all good. It smelled of engine grease, tyllium and sweat, for a former pilot it might as well have been filled with roses.

Helo embraced her in a huge bear hug. She forgot what it felt like to receive such unconditional love. Helo didn't care who she frakked or how much she drank, he just loved her. He was like family. "Gods it's good to see you." He mumbled into her hair. He made her feel like a dwarf, he had since they were teenagers. She must have forgotten just how big he was. Sharon was a brave woman, cylon, whatever.

"Helo," she gasped, "I need air, must breathe." He released her with a good laugh. He was in incredibly high spirits. It was nice to see someone who was happy to see her. The only person who was ever happy to see her on New Caprica was the bartender.

"The Admiral wants to see you, but then we need to catch up. I've got to go get a few things wrapped up before we can have some time together, but I really want to hear all about life down there."

"There isn't much to say, but okay." She shrugged. Really, what was there to tell him? Should she share with him the events of the night of Founders Day, the events that lead to the start of her rapidly disintegrating marriage? Should she tell him about her gambling problem which only helped to feed her drinking problem, of which both were compensating for her _I have nothing better to do with my damn life _problem? There was a time she would have told Helo everything, there was a time when she wouldn't have had to wonder what she should and shouldn't tell him. She missed those days, but a lot had changed since then.

"Do you want someone to escort you to the Admiral's quarters?"

"I _can_ remember the way." She replied with lifted eyebrows.

Helo and she headed towards the exit to the main deck. "It's good to see you Kara." He gave her arm a light squeeze before heading down the hall to the CIC.

Galactica's halls were mostly empty now. The whole place felt vacant. Half the lights were out to conserve energy. The tyllium ship was still producing fuel, but at a quarter of the production. With a smaller staff there was no reason to light up all of the decks, and conservation was just a good all around plan. But it made the whole place feel a lot bigger because it was so hollow, but still somehow claustrophobic, like the walls were crushing in. Maybe all that sky above her was frakking with her head, because this was home, not there.

She knocked on the Admiral's door and the old man answered. His face lit up at the sight of her. It was so surreal to be around people who cared about her this much, people who could be this excited to see her. It felt almost alien to be embraced so much in one day. The only physical contact she had these days was the sickening satisfaction of punching some civie in the face when they cheated at her table.

"Kara, it's good to see you." He hugged her and she knew he could feel the ribs beneath her thin shirt.

"You too sir." She almost felt the sting of tears at her eyes. She held it back, not even understanding why they were there in the first place. All the events of the last few months, all of her regrets came washing over her, but this wasn't the time or the place for self pity.

He let her go and guided her into the room. She flopped down on the familiar couch. Being a civilian meant she didn't have to follow protocols, she could just be a person visiting a friend in the military. He poured her a glass of whatever the flight deck was producing these days. Whenever she was near the old man she felt safe and secure, and loved. It was like having her father back; even though her father was long gone.

"So how long before you beg me to let you get back into a viper?" She must have looked startled. "While you're up here I am sure you'd like to get behind the old stick again."

"Oh, yeah, I hadn't really thought about it. I just got back up here. It takes a lot of getting used to, I kinda forgot that."

"Even when I wasn't in the fleet I was working on ships constantly, I guess I never really had that kind of down time on the planet. The adjustment isn't much when it's only a few weeks, but I can imagine after a few months it gets harder."

"Yeah it does. So how are things up here?"

"They are relatively dull, which I am happy to say. After the last few years it's nice to have some time where we aren't constantly at alert."

"It's boring though, right?" She asked with a smile. She knew that he had to be bored to tears, especially with Tigh and Roslin planet side.

"Yes, but we still have a duty to do up here. Someone needs to be a guardian for the colony"

"Duty, yeah, I remember something like that." She nudged him with her elbow.

"It doesn't seem like they are making much progress down there."

"Progress? I think that's a bit hopeful. We don't even have a well or sewage system yet. There aren't enough trees to build homes, the tents are cold, the people don't have enough to do. But Baltar seems pretty happy about all of it."

"I was afraid this was what would happen. "

"We all were. But what can you do about it? Not a damn thing if you asked me. Most people seem pretty satisfied being down there."

"And you? Are you satisfied?"

"No, but it's where I'm supposed to be." She hated how honest she'd be with him.

"Because of Sam?"

"Because I retired sir." She didn't want to talk about Sam. She didn't want to have to tell him the truth.

"He could come back up here if you wanted to. We have plenty of room, we could always use another knuckle dragger or pilot."

"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."

"Are you two having problems?"

"In a sense, but I'd rather not talk about it right now. I'm here for a celebration remember?" She smiled and shifted the conversation easily. "Helo and Sharon getting married, how'd he pull that one off?"

"I've been spending time with her, and she's not a threat to anyone. She's clearly not Boomer. I've even considered taking her out of there and reinstating her at full military status. We need her now, if the cylons find us, we're frakked with half my troops living on the ground!"

"True. I just figured Helo must have bribed you." She laughed a bit.

"I'm sorry to cut this visit short, but I have some things to attend to."

"No problem, I could use a shower, and I need to find whoever's in charge of the rumored bachelor party."

"Word on the street? You need to talk to Hot Dog, but you didn't hear it from me." He smiled, his smile was always so warm.

They got up, glasses long empty. He gave her another small hug.

"Do you know where they've got me set up?"

"I believe we have you in the Presidential quarters, seeing as no one Presidential ever visits up here." He said with a smile and a wink.

"Wow, you sure know how to roll out the red carpet up here." She laughed.

"It's good to have you up here again. These halls have been mighty quiet since you've been gone."

"And I'm sure the brig's been awfully empty."

"That too."

She opened the hatch and headed out into the hall.

"Hey Starbuck, what do you hear?"

"Nothing but the rain."

"Grab your gun and bring in the cat."

"If I could sir, I would." She smiled and headed towards her quarters.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: I know the last chapter didn't give you any "What happened to Kara?!?!?!" resolution. That's why you get this chapter. It started to run too long to be a flashback, so now you get to see what happened afterwards. Enjoy!**

_Kara woke to the sound of beeps and something pumping air. Her throat was dry and she couldn't swallow properly. Her entire body throbbed with pain, while her head spun with thoughts. Opening her eyes felt impossible, her lids felt heavier than anything in the universe. Instead she just tried to twitch them open against the pain._

"_Kara?" She heard a voice, and felt someone squeeze her hand. "Open your eyes Kara do it for me." The voice was familiar; she could have sworn she had heard it calling to her from far away. _

_Finally one eye opened. The other she could barely get to move, it felt swollen, like a huge blister was over it. It took a minute for her eye to focus, but eventually Karl's face came into view. He looked scared through his smile. She could see the dark circles under his eyes, and his forehead was crinkled like he was worried._

_She tried to speak, but couldn't even close her mouth. She could feel the air being pushed in and out of her lungs, every time the machine clicked her chest ached. A strangled noise came from her and she sort of struggled._

"_Hold on a minute." Helo put his hand on her forehead and pressed a button on the bed. It was starting to sink in. Bed with buttons, beeps and clicks, horrible mint green walls, the smell of antiseptic, she must have been in a hospital. _

_A black man in a white coat and spectacles came into the room. He was tall and bald. She thought the name on his coat was Simon, but she couldn't be sure. He had a clipboard, a stethoscope and an irritated look on his face. It was obvious he hadn't wanted to be bothered. "What do you need now Mr. Agathon?" He asked curtly._

"_She's awake." The doctor figure hadn't even looked at her as he came in. Clearly he hadn't noticed and looked surprised when his glance met her eye. Helo never left her side and she could still slightly sense his hand in hers._

"_Oh." The doctor's demeanor changed quickly and he went about recording the numbers on her machines and flashing a bright light in her eye. She squinted and it hurt like hell._

"_Doc, she was trying to talk."_

"_Of course." The doctor looked at a monitor and looked back at her. "Miss Thrace, there's a tube down your throat to help you breath. You appear to be stable enough to remove it. On the count of three I'm going to pull it out and I need to you try to cough while I do that. You are probably going to feel like you need to retch, which is perfectly normal. This might be a little uncomfortable." He pulled some tape off of her face, and disconnected the hose. Finally the chest pain subsided._

_He counted to three and it felt like he was tearing out part of her throat. The sensation wasn't just uncomfortable, it was downright unnatural. She should have known that any time a doctor uses the word "uncomfortable" it means awful. When it was out she heaved twice, but nothing came up._

"_You probably won't be able to talk, you might be able to whisper, but keep it to a minimum. We can't give you water, but some ice chips should help with the dryness. We'll get you some balm for your lips."_

_She nodded as best she could._

"_Mr. Agathon, I am going to order those tests for your fiancé that we spoke about a few days ago." The doctor said days, she couldn't understand what he meant. Had she been asleep for days?_

"_Sure Doc, that sounds great." His hand was still on hers, and he smiled a great beaming Karl smile._

"_Welcome back to the living Miss Thrace. You are lucky, we weren't sure you were going to pull through in the beginning. This guy here insisted you would. I can see why you'd marry him." The doctor smiled, all she saw was a snake. "I'll leave you two for a while." He left._

_She looked up at Helo, still with only one eye, and tried to say his name. What came out was a squeak, and it hurt. She tried to gesture for paper and a pen, but she couldn't move her right arm. Looking down she saw it was in a cast from shoulder to fingertips. She attempted to lift her less dominant hand, but pain shot across her collar bone, feeling like she was being stabbed in the chest._

"_Kara, be careful, you've got a lot of injuries there." The relief and care in his voice soothed her for a moment. She wished he could read her mind, so she tried to flash him a What the Frak Happened look single eyed._

"_You fell down a flight of stairs at Socrata's, I don't know the circumstances of it, but I found you at the bottom of the stairs. I called an ambulance and they stabilized you. Dad pulled a few strings and got you transferred here to the Academy Hospital. They have the best orthopedists in the colonies."_

_Again she flashed a look._

"_Gods Kara, you've been in a coma for over a week." His voice cracked slightly, as if it were the first time he had really said it out loud. "Your head got knocked around pretty good." He reached out and touched her cheek. "I'm glad you came back to me."_

_She rolled her eyes as an orderly brought in a cup of ice chips. Helo placed two in her mouth and they felt so good. Never did she think ice could be so satisfying._

"_Even without words, you're still a bit of a bitch." He laughed. Karl's laugh should have been one of the 13 wonders of the Colonies._

_The water helped her parched throat begin to work properly. She whispered "Fiancé?"_

"_It was the only way they'd let me stay with you and make medical decisions for you. Your mother was more than happy to confirm it, and to turn over the responsibility to me."_

_For a moment Kara remembered fighting with her mother about her being a pyramid player. She remembered the fit of rage in her mother's eyes, and then nothing._

"_How bad?" She managed to get out._

"_You don't want to know that right now."_

"_Do too."_

"_Your right arm was broken in 3 places, your left collarbone and left cheekbone were also broken, so were your nose and your left ankle. You tore all of the ligaments off of your right knee. Other than that you have a sprained neck, and a lot of cuts, scrapes and bruises."_

_She closed her eye and felt her dreams die and a tear slide down her cheek. Karl wiped it away with his thumb and kissed her on her forehead._

"_There is no permanent damage really. Everything was repaired. They even used some fancy new lab generated tendons and ligaments to repair your knee. You're going to be just fine, but it's going to take some time. "_

"_But?"_

"_You won't be able to play pyramid. The rotation of the knee might snap the new graphs until they've fully healed, which might take years."_

_She tried to roll her head away from him but couldn't with the neck brace on, the lone tear from before was followed by many more, she even felt the swelled shut eye begin to leak. The sobs choked and made her already sore throat hurt even more._

"_Kara, it's going to be fine." He tried to comfort her, but he knew that the future she had wanted so badly for herself just snapped. He climbed into the bed and sidled up to her less injured side and held her as gently as possible. "The academy has already made preparations for you. They are going to forward you to officer's school until you can get into a cockpit. Part of your therapy will be working in the simulator. They are going to cater a program just for you."_

_She suspected that Karl's dad was responsible for this, but didn't care. If she couldn't be on a pyramid court, she would at least get to swim among the stars, eventually._

_Even though she had slept for days she was tired. Even though she was sore, and it hurt to have him in her bed, physically, she shifted to lay against him, thankful he was there. Without him she probably would have died. Correction. Without him she wouldn't have even made it this far._


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry for the delay! I had a work thing, and an end of BSG thing (srsly? That's how they ended it? Really?), and now I am back to work on this. For your patience you are getting 2 chapters (almost 3,500 words!) in one. Warning the angst may be jacked up to 100 thanks to the end of BSG, but it'll be worth it. I promise!!! (also if you are in Kara/Lee pain I recommend rewatching Ron Moore's Extended Cut of Unfinished Business, I recommend rewatching it until your disc wears out or your eyes bleed, your choice, at least your neat little apple cart will be upset) Enjoy, review, and tell your friends!**

Kara found her quarters. The dress bag was neatly hung up, her bag set on the bed. The room was clean, sparse, and still it felt more like home than that grimy tent probably ever would. She had never been a tidy person. The only time she ever cleaned up her act (figuratively and literally) was when Zak had practically moved in with her. He was tidy, she did her best to follow suit. When he died so had all sense of order in her universe, order was for happy people, for people who got what they wanted out of life.

She remembered in one of her classes the professor talked about chaos theory and how all orderly things emerged from chaos and fought against entropy's attempts to take it back. She didn't think you were supposed to feel a kinship with scientific theory, but this was one she did.

The main benefits of her quarters were the full sized bed with real mattress and the private head. Since crew was mostly skeleton, the 5 minute shower rule was rolled back. She planned on taking complete advantage of both. Anything to get the months of grime and New Caprica off of her would be good. Something that might result in an actual full night's sleep, well that would be heaven.

She stripped off her clothes; peeled might have actually been a better term. She was surprised they weren't all covered in lice (considering the limited bathing resources), the thought made her itch anyways. She threw the clothes down the laundry chute; she also dumped the clothes she grabbed from the tent down too. Either laundry services would clean them or burn them; it really didn't matter to her. On the sink there was a pile of fresh towels. On the closed toilet lid were a set of tanks and her old off duty sweats, also clean fresh underwear. She had stopped wearing underwear planet side; mostly cos all it did was keep the grime that much closer to her body. The tanks and clothes were even hers, the faded name tags within them still bearing her serial number and call sign. On top of the towels was a note:

"Courtesy of the Commander of the Pegasus"

Lee had either been forewarned that she was coming on board, or he really was that quick. Being a commander meant that even with a quarter of the previous staff, things got done when he asked. If she had anything cleaner or better to wear (besides that damn dress) she would have rejected the clothes just to spite him, but right now she was willing to give him a win for the chance to wear clean clothes. It was just better to accept the gift of a former superior officer; after all, she was a guest on this ship.

The water was hot; she had turned it up as high as it would let her. She wanted it to boil off the remnants of that place, of that man, of that time when she stopped being Starbuck and started just being Kara. She let it beat away the hard feelings and the harder days. She let it flush away everything, until she felt like her old self again, until she felt like she was where she belonged, until the only thing left in that stall was Starbuck.

She dried herself off with the scratchy towels. Fabric softener had been long gone, as had most soaps, what they were cleaning clothes and towels with was inconsequential to her now. Maybe they were beating them against rocks in the laundry room. The thought made her laugh. She pulled on the clean clothes; they hung on her thinner frame. She hadn't just lost weight, she had lost muscle. She wiped the steam away from the mirror to see her cheekbones protruded just a bit more than they used to. She could see the cave of her collarbone, the waist on the pants hung on her hip bones. There were circles of purple and black under her eyes, not from a fight, but from a lack of sleep, of peace, of everything. She was glad there were no mirrors that were easy access on New Caprica. Looking in this one just made her want to smash it, smash who she had become, instead she turned away.

She turned to the bed. In a few hours there would be a rollicking game of triad going on in the pilots' ready room, the booze would flow freely, the stories would fly, tall tales would get taller, and she wanted to participate fully, and maybe kick a little ass. Even though she had dozed off on the raptor she was tired, much more tired than she thought. In this place, this "home" all she wanted to do was crawl into a ball and fall asleep. So she did.

* * *

_After the accident Helo got ahead of her in the academy. He was in simulators, she was learning strategy. He was learning jump coordinate calculations; she was learning rules and regulations. He was on his way to becoming a pilot, she was stuck in officers school. She was learning combat planning when it all struck her as hilarious, really, when would they need to plan combat? The cylons were long gone, and unless an alien race came to attack them, this would all be pointless. Besides it was all so obvious, in real war, plans had to be what got you killed. She hoped she'd never know. She saw Helo less and less. He spent more time in a cockpit, and she spent her time between therapy, classrooms, and occasionally she'd sneak into the flight simulators. That last thing was what got her written up for the first time. She just wanted to fly._

_The less he was around, the more her mouth got her in trouble. Laughing during a lecture on the Battle of the Scorpion Moon didn't get her in trouble, pointing out that it was an easy win on a strategically insignificant location got her 15 days simulation clean up (lots of nuggets lost their lunch in them). Slack was cut once she got in the simulators herself. She quickly maxxed out on simulation time, and held every record the machine could hold. She nailed the red zone with 4 clean kill shots after 5 minutes in the gyro-chair. She was not only the highest ranking woman on her flight tests, she was the highest ranking anyone. Still Helo wasn't with her as much as she was used to. He was out on a survival test when she wanted to celebrate her scores._

_She earned her call sign before she hit an actual cockpit. Karl earned his, "Helo," because he was the son of a high ranking officer, and Helo was another word for the sun. It was appropriate if not unoriginal. She would have given him the name "Sucker" cos he was rarely without one. Hers was "Starbuck" because she was always bucking authority with her eyes on the stars. Her flight instructor was a woman, which might explain the more creative name. She had also beaten all of her records, kicked her ass at triad, and tried to punch her after one too many drinks. Maybe it was because she bucked authority and the bitch wanted her to see stars. It didn't matter, because the name was hers, and she wouldn't have wanted any other._

_Helo was still half-heartedly playing pyramid. His heart wasn't in it, which was obvious by the number of fouls he racked up, and the fewer and fewer points he scored. Eventually he was on the bench more than on the court and he got booted from the team. It didn't matter; his grades and flight scores were so good they kept him on scholarship._

_Helo's skills were in a raptor, hers was in a viper. They were similar machines, but fundamentally different. He could calculate jump coordinates in his head, she needed both hands and feet to do simple math. It was common for 2__nd__ year pilots of talent to be recruited out to units that would finish their training and give them experience. Scorpion was home to the Raptor Wranglers, the best pilots and ECOs in the fleet came out of there. It was the chance of a lifetime for a raptor pilot. When they wanted you, there was no saying no. It was no real surprise when the raptor squadron out of Scorpion recruited him. She remembered that day clearly; even though it was one she cared not to remember at all._

_He had just finished helping her put the physical in physical therapy. They finally had a few days leave that coincided; they also coincided with Karl's roommate being out on training. So they did what Kara and Karl did best, they got some food, had a few drinks, went home and frakked. They woke up the next day, watched some television, snacked, and frakked. They were laying in bed when the conversation turned from what kind of take out they should get (cos they felt clothing should be optional, after all it was their time off, and clothes just got in the way, so it's not like they could go out for food) to something they had avoided for years._

"_I heard a rumor that the Wranglers have their eye on you." She started it, she always started it didn't she?_

"_I might have heard something like that, but I don't think I'm going to go." Helo replied as he spun the orange colored lollipop in his mouth, proof that some things never change._

"_Seriously? No one says no to a chance like that. If it were the Viglantes on my doorstep I'd be gone in a heartbeat."_

"_It's not that simple Kara and you know it. I just don't know if I should go."_

"_Why would you stay?"_

_He wrapped his massive arms around her, pulling her to his chest, "Well, there's you, someone's gotta keep an eye on you."_

"_I get in plenty of trouble even when you do have your eye on me."_

"_And you still aren't 100%."_

"_No, my broken body will not be an excuse for you abandoning an opportunity. I am not an invalid anymore; they're letting me take my Gs stress test for my knee next week. I should be in a viper in under a month. You sir, are healthy enough to have been in a cockpit for months now, and they must like what they see if they want you."_

"_I know, but I really don't want to go without you." He held her a little bit tighter to his chest._

"_Karl, really?" She rolled her eyes. "Cos you can't do something without me? You've been doing a lot without me lately, and doing it well." She pulled out of his grip, tightening the sheet against her chest, turning to look at him. She was starting to get angry._

"_But we're still on the same frakking planet Kara." She could see the heat building in him. When Karl was angry the first sign was the flaring nostrils, the second was the veins in his neck popping out. His nostrils were flaring when he blurted out, "Kara, I love you, and I don't want to be without you."_

_Her mouth fell open, she was astonished. There were things that they didn't say, topics which were never broached. There were things they didn't speak of, Kara and Karl, Helo and Starbuck, didn't use words. They especially didn't use words like this._

"_Frak me." Was the first thing that flew out of her mouth, the veins in his neck started to pulse. "Seriously Karl, no. No, you can't use that as an excuse."_

"_Come on Kara, we've been together how long? 10 years? Yeah we've dated other people, but we always come back to each other. Since our leave time started 12 hours ago the longest we've been apart is bathroom breaks. There's a reason for that, and its love."_

"_Don't mistake comfort and safety for love Karl." This was a lesson she had learned from the only other man in her life that had ever really mattered, Dreilide Thrace._

"_If loving you was comfortable or safe I'd be shocked." The third sign Karl was getting angry was the red flush that crept up his neck to his face, it was the same flush he got right before he came, he wasn't coming this time. "I don't even know why we are talking about this, they haven't recruited me yet."_

"_You dropped the L word on me, and now you're going to change the subject? Nice Karl, real nice."_

"_Well it's not like you said it back, I sort of thought you were going to hit me." He chuckled._

"_It's not that I don't love you Karl, you know that I do. I just think you could do, and deserve a lot better than me."_

"_I don't want better, I want you."_

"_You only want me because I'm always here. It's easy with us because we've never really been apart."_

"_I don't want to be apart."_

"_What is it they say, if you love something set it free, if it comes back it was meant to be?"_

"_So you want me to go?"_

"_Dear lords yes! I don't want to be the one thing that leads to a world of regret for you."_

"_I could never regret you."_

"_You say that now, but you don't know. My mother always told me I had some special destiny, I always thought it was crap, but now that I've sat in those simulators I know she was right. I'm supposed to be up there in a viper, and you know what they say: Viper jocks and Raptor jocks are two different kinds of people."_

"_Really? You're going to use our flight preferences as a reason?"_

"_What I mean is you should go off to Scorpion and learn from the best, hell, I give it 3 months and you'll be shacked up with some raptor pilot honey. You'll be her ECO, she'll boss you around in the ship, and you'll boss her around everywhere else. It'll be frakking bliss."_

"_Nice. That doesn't change the fact that I love you."_

_There was a knock at his door. It was a persistent, urgent, yet official sounding rap. They both looked at each other. Of course in the middle of this discussion some ass hat would be knocking down the door, probably looking for his roommate._

_Helo got up and put on a pair of boxers, "This isn't over, so you better come up with something better." The look in his eyes slayed her, he really believed that staying behind to be with her was the right thing to do. She could never let him do it, no matter how much she wanted to grab onto him and never let go. She had relied on him for her stability, for her family, for her everything for so long it felt selfish not to let him go._

_When he opened the door there was a lieutenant standing outside. He was in dress blues, with an official looking folder under his arm. She couldn't see his face from where she was still lying._

"_I'm looking for a Karl C. Agathon."_

"_That would be me."_

"_Is this how you show respect for a superior officer?" The man was commenting that Helo was either in only boxers, or that he wasn't saluting. Helo went for the obvious fix and saluted. "At ease. May I come in?" This guy was awfully pompous and she heard a slight tinge of "stick up his ass" in his voice. She wrapped the sheet around her, but suggestively draped herself across Karl's bed. If this jerk was going to come in, she was going to frak with him._

"_Yes, Sir." Karl commented and moved from the door. He turned to look for some pants and a shirt, and gave Kara the eye when she stuck her tongue out at him._

_The man entered the room and closed the door behind him. When he turned back he saw her, and she locked eyes with the most beautiful set of azure eyes ever. They were the color of the blue paint she used as a child to paint her silly swirls. They were the color of a perfect sky. She actually forgot to breathe for a moment, and suddenly felt far more naked than she was, she clutched at the sheet, feigning a sudden modesty. He looked at her in passing, but she felt an unexplainable tug within her to be near him. She simultaneously wanted to smack the smug look off his face and frak him until he cried out her name._

_The man sat down at the small table that held the remnants of their last pizza, a flash is disgust crossed his face. He pushed the box back with the folder. She suddenly felt vastly underdressed and grabbed her things and rushed into the closet to change. She could hear them talking, exchanging pleasantries. The man was from the Scorpion Raptor group, he was here to recruit Karl. They were impressed, blah blah blah. They wanted to promote Karl to lieutenant, and work with him on complicated jump coordinates and maneuvers. The man was all business, stiff starch and regulations._

_When she came out of the closet he really looked at her. She heard him make some passing comment to the effect of "She's a pilot?" He had apparently assumed she was some sort of civie pilot frakker. There were plenty of girls in town like that, but she was still more than a little offended._

"_Yeah she's the best damn viper pilot in the academy and hasn't stepped foot in a cockpit yet." Helo was proud of her, and it made her heart swell a bit._

"_It's different in the air." The man said with an attitude she just couldn't stand._

"_Like you'd know, you fly frakking raptors." She could have hit herself for running her mouth like that. This was Helo's moment, and she was ruining it with her big damn mouth._

"_I'm dually qualified for both. I'm the top viper pilot in the fleet, so I thought I'd try to break some raptor records."_

"_You might be first now, but trust me, it won't be for long." Helo laughed at her assertion. She was cocky. "What's your call sign fly-boy?"_

"_Apollo."_

"_Son of Zeus, eh? Fancy."_

_Helo could see the tension building between these two. He had never seen someone rile Kara up this quickly. She was all wild eyes, messy hair, and damn if her nipples couldn't cut glass through her tanks. She wasn't just frakking with this guy, she was reacting to him on some primal level. It wasn't territorial; it was predator meet prey, only he couldn't tell which was which. There was something here, and if she had been as observant as Helo she would have seen it: love at first sight._

_Helo shook the son of Zeus' hand and accepted his new rank pins. He was expected to report to Scorpion in 3 days. They never finished that conversation, but they both knew, somehow everything had changed in one afternoon._

* * *

She woke with a start, covered in sweat and gasping for breath. How could she have forgotten that Lee recruited Helo? Hind sight was more than 20-20. Remembering offered so much clarity. Helo hadn't left for Scorpion because of what she said; he had left because of what he had seen between her and Lee, something that wouldn't go away even if she didn't remember. She had blamed herself for pushing Helo away, for tearing them apart, but now she realized, Helo had pulled away all on his own.


End file.
